if you ever get the chance please kiss me just fucking do it just go straight for the smooch and take it
all grandmas smell the same
I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka
one of my close friends told me recently
“I sat next to you in sculpture for a year
and I thought you hated me.”
I cried laughing, “WHY?!”
“well I get your sense of humor now,” she said.
I’m sarcastic and witty.
I chop fire wood when I’m frustrated,
drink beer with the boys,
cuss like a sailor.
I don’t mind kicking off my Manolos
and whooping your ass in a game of pool.
I remember going out one night,
ordering the darkest beer on the menu
and my date looking at me like I was crazy.
“don’t you want a mixed drink, baby?
you’ve got nothing to prove to me.”
I remember crossing my legs,
twirling my blonde hair,
turning to the waiter and saying,
“he’d like a cosmopolitan.
oh, and do you have one of those little umbrellas for it?”
my father taught me how to be ten foot tall and bullet proof
when he walked out the door.
my mother taught me how to make my own money,
pull myself up off the ground
and raise my manicured middle finger to the sky.
I remember my mom leaning towards the mirror
to put on her lipstick and thinking to myself,
“why can’t I be both?”
why can’t I run five miles in BCBG tennis shoes?
why can’t I shoot a gun wearing Marc Jacobs jeans?
why is it so hard to believe that a woman
can take care of herself,
save for nice things
and not be a total bitch?
I’m this whirlwind of woman
that most men don’t know how to love.
I guess I just always left my footprint in Dolce & Gabbana
and my heart at some shitty dive bar down the street
with the veterans talking war stories
and faded tattoos.
if you can make sense of all that I am,
if you can look past my long blonde hair
and shake my hand,
Right so when squirrels gather loads of food and not come out for weeks it’s ‘normal’ but when I do it it’s ‘antisocial’ oh ok
I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions
you all deserve someone who isnt embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, good and bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you. i hope you all find that!!
What if there are actually multiple souls in your body but you’re the most powerful one so you have control over your body and the voices you hear in your head are just the weaker souls talking to you.
and maybe people with schizophrenia don’t have an assertive soul so all of the souls are fighting to take over
both of you write a book together
writers are people who have acknowledged and made friends with their extra souls